Gloobert 3

Current Metrics

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Location:
The Panic Room / The Dressing Room (Simultaneously)

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Anxiety Level:

⚠️ OVERLOAD DETECTED (200%)

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Dance Style:
Manic Freakout vs. Sassy Strut

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Near-Death Experiences:
47 (Today)

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Merch Orders Today:
[TOO SCARED TO LOOK]

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Status:
SCREAMING. SLAYING. REPEATING.

Light Green. Wrinkled from constant stress. Bulging pinkish eyes that have seen too much. Gloobert 3's natural state is existential dread, and is always on strike three.

"Gloobert 3 has never felt 'calm' (but has felt the structural integrity of a crumbling ledge). He watches decades worth of Earth's rollercoaster POV videos and assumes they are Public Transit Tutorials. He knows the exact taste of adrenaline (it tastes like copper), but doesn't understand 'Fun.' Is it the part where you stop screaming? Or is that just passing out?"

"The Universe assigned this creature number 3. Gloobert 1 thinks it's a hierarchy. Gloobert 2 thinks it's a version number. Gloobert 3 thinks he knows the truth. 3 is the number of seconds you have to run before the explosion."

THE MERCH TRUTH

(He is terrified you're watching... but fix his hair first)

When you order Gloobert 3's merch, the green light pulses. It stares at him.
He stops screaming just long enough to check his reflection in the monitor.

NOT JUST A VIEW. NOT JUST A LIKE.

His entire nervous system knows before his brain does: someone 2.5 million light-years away just SIGNED THE WAIVER.

He applies a fresh coat of lipstick. His hands are shaking, but the shade is perfect.

PRODUCTION LOG:

✔ DESIGNED BY GLB3 (Between panic attacks)

✔ MADE BY GLB3 (While hyperventilating)

✔ MODELLED BY GLB3 (He insisted on the wig)

He scans your order notes for "Diva Dares"...
EVERY 5 SECONDS.

PANIC & POSE