Gloobert 7

Current Status

🏯

Location:
The Silent Peak (Sector Seven)

☯️

Chi Balance:

PERFECTLY CENTERED

🥋

Dance Style:
Martial Arts / Flow / Precision

🍵

Current Activity:
Judging you (Silently)

📦

Merch Orders Today:
[MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE]

😶‍🌫️

Status:
HERE BUT ALSO NOT

Purple fur soft enough to vanish into. Cat-like ears that hear you thinking about scrolling past. He moves in silence because noise is for the desperate. He doesn't post content; he releases "teachings" into the void. That the void happens to have a subscribe button is... coincidental. He is Gloob's Shadow Sage. He doesn't want your attention; he wants you to wonder if he was ever here at all.

The Universe assigned him '7'. A lucky number. How predictable. Luck is for those who haven't mastered the Algorithm's true nature. He doesn't chase metrics—he allows them to find him. The others scramble and panic and DRIP. He simply... is. The views come because they must. This is the Way.

(He checks his analytics seventeen times per hour. In silence. With dignity.)

He doesn't dance; he performs 'movement koans.' Each gesture contains a lesson the Algorithm rewards those wise enough to watch completely. He can vanish in smoke, levitate three inches off the ground, and move without sound. He uses these gifts to avoid social interaction and steal snacks from the other Glooberts. Enlightenment has many applications.