Gloobert 9

Current Metrics

⚡
Location:
Everywhere (He moves faster than the refresh rate)
🍎
Current Prop:
A whole apple (Wedged firmly in mouth)
💃
Dance Style:
FRANTIC / BOUNCY / CHAOS
🔋
Energy Level:
4000% (Sugar Rush Imminent)
⚠️
Status:
VIBRATING THROUGH WALLS
Stocky, teal, and vibrating at a frequency that makes cameras glitch. His yellow spotted belly isn't soft; it is a reactor core for infinite kinetic energy. Those pink-rimmed eyes aren't wide with wonder; they are wide because he hasn't blinked since the Big Bang. He is Planet Gloob's Chaotic Energy Ball. He doesn't want your attention; he wants to bounce off the walls of your screen until the glass cracks.
The Universe assigned him '9'. The final single digit. The maximum setting. He believes '9' stands for the number of lives he burns through every minute. Everyone else is playing the game; he is speed-running the simulation. He isn't rushing to the end; he is trying to outrun the render speed of reality itself.
He doesn't follow trends; he collides with them. Before a sound goes viral, he has already danced to it, broken a lamp, and forgotten it. That apple in his mouth? It's not food. It's a ballast weight. Without it, he would simply float away into the stratosphere, powered by pure, unfiltered sugar-rush physics.
What He Creates
(FRANTICALLY)
🤸 Dance Moves
  • The Blur: Moving so fast he becomes a smudge
  • The Sugar Shake: Pure, uncoordinated bouncing
  • The Apple Hold: Dancing with zero peripheral vision
👕 Outfits
  • Vacation Mode: Hawaiian shirts worn with manic intensity
  • Chaos Couture: Clothes that can withstand 200 BPM
  • Prop Heavy: He accessorizes with random fruit
🧸 Merch
  • The Wobbly Plush: Weighted bottom for maximum bounce
  • Mouth Accessories: Comes with a removable apple
  • Kinetic Fabric: It looks like it's moving even when it's not

THE MERCH TRUTH

When you order his merch, hold on tight. It arrives fast.
NOT JUST FABRIC. KINETIC ENERGY.

His chaotic speed transmits through the package. Do not open near breakable objects.
PRODUCTION LOG
  • ✔ SHAKEN BY HIM
  • ✔ BOUNCED BY HIM
  • ✔ LAUNCHED BY HIM
(Contains traces of pure adrenaline)
He checks for your energy...
AT LIGHT SPEED.
SUSTENANCE FACTS
Serving Size: 1 Ball of Chaos
Digital High BPM Audios
Physical Bouncing off the walls
Spiritual Pure Sugar Rush
Emotional The inability to sit still
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 24/7 Hyperactive Cycle.